I know that there are people who think,

"I wish my husband (or wife) had more of a sexual drive."

But the truth of the matter is everyone has a sexual drive. It is just that it varies in intensity, in orientation and in direction.

I would like to look at this subject in a little bit of detail here because it is a key to relationships and a key to rising up and developing the kind of relationships that God has for us.

Some people have a normal sexual drive that is under control and normal. That means that when a man sees a beautiful woman he is automatically stirred. You might say to me,

"I thought that was lust."

No it is not lust. It is natural, sexual desire which God has built into a man, because a man is turned on by the appearance of a beautiful woman. Any man who has a natural response like that has normal sexuality.

Any woman who responds to loving tenderness from a man in a sexual way is functioning very normally, because that is how women respond and function.

But some people have an overdeveloped and extremely strong sexual drive towards members of the opposite sex. And then the most extreme aberration of all is when somebody becomes attracted sexually to someone of the same sex.

This is something that is rampant in the world today. They have given it a name. They call them the LGBT group and they have lumped them all together. There are people who have sexual orientation that is not naturally the way God created it to be.

This whole subject of sexuality is a very big one, and I plan to do a complete teaching just on this alone in the future. I am just going to touch on a few of the points in this chapter to give you a bit of an introduction to what we are looking at and where the problems are.

Satan uses sexuality, particularly in the male/female relationship. He does this to make sure that we don't enter into a full loving and satisfying relationship, and a marriage that is correct according to God's order.

Problems With Pre-Marital Sex

This is the way it normally works. When a man and woman come together before they are married, the enemy will attempt to stir up sexual desire far greater than normal.

He will seek to tempt them, and to cause them to give into that sexual desire before marriage which is contrary to God's order.

He does that because he knows that we know that it is sin. And if he can get us to do it, he immediately knocks the sharp edge off our spirituality.

It affects our relationship with God, and so even as we are forming that relationship, we don't enter into that kind of unity which becomes a threat to his kingdom because God has been stunted in this relationship.

He creates an unnatural thirst for sex. It goes beyond normal sexual desire and becomes extremely strong. And because there is a person there that can satisfy that need, Satan will encourage it.

Problems After Marriage

The couple then get married, and you know an amazing thing happens. That sexual drive just isn't the same anymore. Yes it is still there and it is natural, but it is just not the same.

That is why so many couples would quite happily live together rather than getting married. Because the moment they get married, somehow it just doesn't have the same impetus.

Of course it doesn't, because Satan now wants to make sure that you don't develop that relationship. Because now it is not sinful anymore.

You don't have to feel guilty about it anymore, and you can finally develop that relationship and enter into the fullness of it.

So the first thing he is going to do now is try and turn you off and decrease your sexual desire. He wants to destroy the relationship. And if he can, he will now take that sexual desire and start directing it somewhere else.

You will find yourself being sexually attracted to third parties; to somebody at work or someone you are associated with. Suddenly this strong sexual drive temptation becomes directed outwards instead of in the marriage.

Because Satan knows if a satisfying sexual relationship occurs in the marriage and the two of you become fully one in spirit, soul and body, you will be a threat to his kingdom.

It is a known fact that counselors who counsel people with sexual problems, when they share with the counselor they will say,

"You know before we got married the sex was awesome. We had a wonderful time. The problems just seemed to start after we got married. I wonder why."

It is because that is the way the enemy works. And you see both of those problems accomplish the same thing. They prevent that relationship and that unity.

Some people make the mistake of thinking,

"I married the wrong person."

So they end that married and go and marry the third party that they got involved with. And you know the same thing happens all over again. While they were having an affair it was awesome. But the moment they get married the same motivation is not there.

Single people who are struggling with sexual temptation have this idea. They say,

"If I could just be married and satisfy that need, everything will be okay."

No it won't, because if you have a strong sexual drive before you were married, you are going to have the same strong sexual drive after you are married and it will not be fully satisfied in your marriage.

You are going to come to the point where your marriage partner is no longer satisfying you. Something will be missing, because that is the way Satan works. And that is the way we are functioning when we let our bodies be in control.

So you need to take control of these desires. Whether you single or married, whether you are courting and planning to marry - whatever it is, Satan is going to use this powerful force to try and block your relationship.

Sexual Aberrations

What about people who have warped sex? What about people who have too strong a sexual drive? What causes these things?

There is such a move today amongst the LGBT people to say,

"I was born this way. It is natural and God made me this way. I can't help it."

God did not design a man and a woman to have very opposite looking organs that fit if He intended same sexes to go together. And you know any person who has this problem knows that.

Quite honestly if they could make a choice they would reverse it and be 'normal'. But because they have tried and can't overcome it, they eventually come to the conclusion,

"Well God made me this way. I can't help it, therefore I must live with it and make the best of it."

We will deal with this in detail when we cover the subject of sexuality. But I want to just share with you very quickly what happens.

Example - Normal Sexual Poles:

In every one of us there are two poles - a male and female pole. We seem to think that men only think like men and women only think like women. But have you ever seen a masculine woman? Have you ever seen an effeminate man?

Why is that possible? Because the Scripture says that God made us male and female. He made us to have both qualities within us.

The psychologists have even tried to use terms to describe it. They call it the animus and the anima - the male and female characteristics that are within us.

But when God created us, He made us to have both maleness and femaleness. The only difference is that in a man the male pole is the dominant pole, and in a female the female pole is the dominant pole.

They are like two poles of a magnet. If you put two magnets together and you put the north and the south together they attract. You put two north poles or two south poles together and they repel each other.

It is natural for males and females to be attracted to each other sexually. It is natural for two men or two women to not be attracted to each other in a sexual way. That is the way it is supposed to be.

These poles are formed throughout our lives by the way we are brought up and by our experiences with males and females.

It starts in the home in our relationship with our mother who helps to develop the female pole, and with our father who helps to develop the male pole.

You will find without fail that people who have a gender or sexual orientation problem usually end up having a gender confusion. And somewhere along the line one of these poles or both have failed to develop correctly.

And so you can have a host of different combinations. You can have a very small female pole or a very small male pole, so that the one is over-developed instead of the two being natural. If you like it's like a magnet that is mostly north pole with hardly any south pole.

Example - Overdeveloped Poles:

Bisexuality

Or you can have a situation where these poles begin to gravitate towards each other as I have shown here.

Example - Bent Poles:

When that happens it is like the poles of the magnet are crossing, and the magnet doesn't know whether it is a north or a south. It can't make up its mind; it's half and half.

The moment that begins to happen we start to get gender confusion, leading ultimately to bisexuality. This is where we are attracted to both male and female, instead of just being attracted to the opposite sex.

Gay, Lesbian and Other Problems

And then in the extreme case it can end up like the diagram below, where the poles are completely crossed.

Sometimes it gets to the point of actually even being twisted together. When that happens there is usually total disorientation, and most frequently attraction to the wrong sex.

There is a whole mixture of these. You get the lesbian, the gay, the bisexual and the transvestite.

Example - Crossed Poles:

All of them have confused male and female genders and they were not born with these problems. Do you know why? Because when you were born you did not even have these poles yet.

A child doesn't even know whether they are male or female. You put little boys and girls together and they play with each other without a problem. It is only later as they begin to develop that boys say,

"Ooh I don't want to play with girls."

And the girls say,

"Those boys are horrible."

Nobody is born with it. It takes a while for these poles to begin to develop.

And according to our experiences in life and our relationship with the two most important male and female people in our lives - our mother and father, it will determine whether we are going to grow up with balanced genders and balanced sexuality or not.

Any kind of warp in the sexual poles will lead to a sexuality that is not normal. It is either going to be excessive in a normal direction of male/female relationship. Or it is going to be excessive in the opposite direction.

Neither of these two will satisfy. If a person has a very strong heterosexual drive they are never satisfied. Men who have that will look for as many women as they can to sleep with.

Women who have that become promiscuous and sleep around with so many men. They are looking to satisfy an inner need that can't be met.

Homosexuals are even worse. Statistics show that the average gay can have dozens of different sexual encounters in a day and still not be satisfied.

The drive is there. It is temporarily physically satisfied, but inwardly it is not satisfied because it is imbalanced.

Instead of taking our stand against these people, judging them and condemning them to hell as sinners, we need to understand them in love and compassion. We need to realize that the experiences of life have warped them and changed them.

That doesn't mean that they are not always responsible. Sometimes their response to the experiences of life have driven them in that direction.

There is far more than this even. There are still two more outer layers that I will teach on when we get into the full level of sexuality.

There are another two that link with acceptance and recognition. And there is still a final outer level which affects our maturity in masculine and feminine.

They all relate to the masculine and feminine, and they usually all relate to the male and female images and figures that we had in our lives.

Hope for Healing

God can change this problem. You cannot do it with psychology and you cannot even do it with counseling. It can only be done supernaturally and there is hope.

I want to say to anybody who is reading this and who is finding themselves caught in the LGBT in any way, that there is hope that God can set you free.

It won't just happen by you becoming a Christian. It is not enough. And it won't happen by choosing to abstain and to live a life of suffering without satisfying sexual desire. That will not solve the problem.

God can reach in and fix this. He can fix all of these things supernaturally by His power. He can set you free and put you into a normal sexual orientation, so that you can enter into a loving, normal relationship the way God intended it to be.

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