When the body is attacked in any way it automatically responds in defense. When germs attack your body, your body goes to work immediately to destroy those germs. If the body is damaged it goes to work immediately to heal that damage and to fix it.

How We Defend Ourselves

But we also have reflex reactions. If someone attacks us we automatically defend and protect ourselves to stop the harm.

If I were to throw something at you, you wouldn't just sit and watch it come and hit your head. You would put your hands up and catch it or stop it. Or you would duck and get out of the way. You see that is the body's built-in defense mechanism.

That is natural and normal and it keeps us in a healthy condition. It keeps us living sensibly in this world, not being silly and doing foolish things.

But what happens once again is the experiences of life and the attack that we get from the world system begins to affect this orientation.

How You React to Pressure

If you go through life with extreme problems and opposition, with things going wrong in your life, your defense mechanism is being called on continuously to try and protect you.

Eventually you make a decision. You are ready for the next one that is coming. And you are going to make one of two decisions. You might submit very quickly to avoid the conflict. Sometimes that is a solution. Don't fight it. Just submit and run away.

There is an expression that says,

He who fights and runs away will live to fight another day.

Do you know that expression? Don't judge the coward. That is his way of dealing with this mechanism. Instead of continually fighting it, just submit to it and avoid it.

Other people develop a protective shell around themselves, so that when the attack comes they won't feel it so much.

They close their hearts off completely so that nobody can say or do anything anymore to hurt them. There is a famous song by Simon and Garfunkel that says,

I am a rock. I am an island.

You say, "Just look at me. I'm tough! You can't hurt me."

The third kind of person says,

"That's not enough. I'm not going to let you hit me. I'm going to hit you before you hit me. I'm going to smack you even before you get a chance.

I'm going to attack you at the first opportunity. I'm going to look and see, and the moment there is danger I am going to attack."

Attack is the greatest form of defense, or so they say.

How These Affect Your Relationships

All of these things are going to affect your relationships. You are going to submit too quickly. You are going to close your heart off and struggle. Or you are going to be aggressive.

You see if you now enter into a relationship you might be someone who has just learned to submit. On the other side of the scale, wouldn't you like to have a relationship with someone who just submits? Wouldn't that be awesome?

Men take advantage of women like that and they use them. But they don't want to live for the rest of their lives with them because they are too easy.

Men who are too needy and quick to submit to the women become boring and it is contrary to God's order. A woman wants a strong man, not someone who just submits all the time. It is great when he is obedient but it gets boring after a while.

Then you have the person who keeps their heart closed all the time. Eventually you get to the place where you say,

"I have tried so hard to break through this shell and I don't think I am ever going to get through to him."

Or you say, "I don't think she is ever going to open up. I see no point in continuing this relationship."

If two people who have both learned to respond aggressively get together, you know that there is a fight today and one tomorrow. Maybe there are two or three a day. There is always conflict and you can't build a relationship on conflict.

Handling Defense Correctly

When the defense mechanism has been warped through our bad experiences in life, it can affect our relationships. We have to learn to handle this mechanism correctly the way God has given it to us.

We don't open our hearts too easily to attack. We don't harden our hearts. We learn to walk in love. And we don't fight back to defend ourselves and claim our own rights all the time. We learn to be like Jesus.

Jesus taught us that if somebody hits you on one cheek you turn the other one. But He didn't always do that Himself either. Jesus defended Himself when He was on trial. He didn't just shut up, but yet there was a time when He did. It says,

As a sheep before its shearers is dumb, he opened not his mouth.

Paul faced the same thing. There were times when he ran away and times when he faced the opposition.

You see the defense mechanism is to be used sensibly, under the direction of the Spirit of God, and it should not affect your relationship with the person that you are with.

When these three bodily functions are developed correctly, combined with a healthy soul and with a healthy spirit, it will enable two people to come together without any barriers or blockages.

There will not be any area that Satan can get in or any license that the enemy can have in their lives. They can come together and form a perfect bond of unity, become one in the Lord and become a danger to the realm of darkness.

Conclusion

Satan does not want us to develop a good relationship. He is going to do his best to make sure you don't find the right person. He is going to keep you single, lonely and all by yourself.

He will give you every excuse under the sun and you will make every excuse under the sun, but that is not God's best for you. He will try to destroy any good relationship that you have.

You need to learn to see which elements he is using in you. Identify them as we have gone through them, and let the Lord overcome these things in you. Then you can stand up and do what the Scripture says,

Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

Then open your heart. Make yourself available and begin to pour out and interact with people out there.

Let God bring into your life that special person in the case of a marriage relationship, or those special people in the case of other relationships that you are going to form.

Move into those relationships. Develop strong, lasting relationships that will go on into the future. Together you will stand firm for the Lord. You will destroy the works of darkness and overcome the evil that Satan wants to bring in our lives.

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